Joy of Christmas

Ah, the holidays.

You can tell it’s that time because every retail store, mall, post office and hot dog stand is draped in Jesus-came-so-you-can-shop decorations. For people who love holiday music, every year brings a new batch from famous, not-so-famous and used-to-be-famous folks, and this one is no different.

But how do you choose? Well, we don’t want you to waste money on bad tunes, so here is a sampling of the 2005 crop of holiday offerings. Of course, if you don’t want to or can’t spend money on Christmas music this year, Joy of Christmas offers over 35 downloadable Christmas MP3′s for free: check out the free Christmas MP3′s section.

• Kenny G, The Greatest Holiday Classics

The sounds of the world’s best selling soprano saxophonist tend to polarize listeners. There are few surprises in song choice (My Favorite Things) or arrangements (a jazz breakdown in the middle of Sleigh Ride), so enjoyment of this collection of tunes from his past albums depends entirely on your gut reactions to Mr. Gorelick’s music. If his lyrical style makes you want to snuggle up in front of a fire with a warm cup of cocoa and a loved one, then you’ll enjoy it. If his metallic, vibrato-laden tone makes you want to punch the nearest person in a holiday sweater, then stay away.

Best for people who like: Kenny G.

Hit the skip button on: Again, still Kenny G, it’s kind of an all-or-nothing listening experience.

• Regis Philbin, The Regis Philbin Christmas Album

Unlike his barking, overly excited speaking style, Philbin’s singing voice is much smoother, but still unmistakably Reege. Several of the usual suspects are here, including duets with wife, Joy, on Baby, It’s Cold Outside and Winter Wonderland, and a cameo from Donald Trump on Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The arrangements lean toward traditional cocktail jazz and Philbin is obviously having a good time, not taking himself too seriously. The collection is neither particularly impressive nor wincingly embarrassing (though “The Trumpster” firing Blitzen and hiring Rudolph is a low point), so this is for fans of Reege and that perky, blond baby machine he hangs out with five mornings a week.

Best for people who like: Regis Philbin and unobtrusive versions of holiday classics

Hit the skip button on: The Trumpster’s contribution, Rudolph ,followed by a long list of shoutouts to Gelman, the Yankees (“Hey Rudolph, there’s A-Rod!!”) and other NYC icons.

• Brian Wilson, What I Really Want for Christmas

Wilson’s completion of his “lost masterpiece” Smile was a heartwarming rock ‘n’ roll story. Now that he’s back in circulation, he’s in a Christmas mood, mixing newly arranged traditional tunes such as The First Noel and O Holy Night with originals, including the new Wilson/Jimmy Webb composition Christmasey. The patented Wilson harmonies and his unique way with melody are in full effect, lifting the album out of the realm of vanity project (see Regis Philbin). There is an inherent innocence in his voice and it lends sincerity to all the tracks. Highlights include remade versions of the Beach Boys’ The Man With the Toys, the surf-sounding Little Saint Nick,the vaguely Latin Deck the Halls and a beautifully harmonized a cappella Auld Lang Syne.

Best for people who like: Beach Boys-style harmonies.

Hit the skip button on: Nothing, it’s all pretty good.

• Rev. Horton Heat, We Three Kings

The right Rev. has a dedicated following who await his punchy rockin’ rockabilly stylings with bated breath. This album also mixes well- and lesser-known holiday tunes, arranged in Heat’s signature retro style. There’s nothing too fancy here, but it is a fun listen.

Best for people who like: Revved-up rockabilly.

Hit the skip button on: A very straitlaced, subdued version of Silver Bells.

• Jane Monheit, The Season

This successful young female jazz singer is known for her come-hither poses almost as much as her voice (though Diana Krall bests her with a “come get some” reclining pose on her recent holiday album). Monheit has a smooth voice and the arrangements by Rob Mounsey are mostly low-key and soothing with a few nice solos. Monheit sings Sleigh Ride and Santa Claus is Coming to Town, but also includes less famous tunes, such as Donny Hathaway’s classic This Christmas and My Grown Up Christmas List.

Best for people who like: Jazzy renditions of tunes you may not know.

Hit the skip button on: Does the world really need yet another version of Moonlight in Vermont?

• Various artists, Christmas Angels

A mostly countrified collection by respected female country and Christian singers including Deana Carter, Tanya Tucker, Suzy Bogguss and Bethany Dillon. The arrangements range from newcomer Amber Dotson’s twangy Blue Christmas to Alison Krauss’ old school R&B-laced Shinny Down the Chimney (Fill Up My Stocking).

Best for people who like: A healthy heaping of twang in their Christmas songs.

Hit the skip button on: There’s nothing here particularly egregious.

• Aaron Neville, Christmas Prayer

Neville’s wafting, light-as-a-feather tenor could make Black Sabbath’s Iron Man sound plaintive, so holiday tunes are a natural match. Mixing traditional songs with a few originals by Curtis Mayfield, Charles Brown and himself, Neville’s album is a soulful holiday celebration featuring gospel classic Go Tell It on the Mountain, the doo-wop arrangement of White Christmas and an a cappella Joy to the World featuring the Blind Boys of Alabama.

Best for people who like: Neville’s voice.

Hit the skip button on: A slightly overcooked and sappy Hark the Herald Angels Sing.

• Tony Orlando & Dawn, A Christmas Reunion

Admit it. You missed the bushy mustache, the powder blue tuxes and the long flowing cocktail dresses. Orlando, Telma Hopkins and Joyce Vincent Wilson are back with some of your Christmas faves. It isn’t nearly as Vegas-buffet cheesy as one might expect, as all three are talented singers, still sound pretty good and employ arrangements ranging from jazz to light contemporary R&B.

Best for people who like: A holiday-themed vocal menage a trois.

Hit the skip button on: Nothing.

• Jana, American Indian Christmas

An interesting collection performed in American Indian languages including Navajo, Oneida, Chiricahua Apache and Lakota. Jana Mashonee has a powerful, clear voice and she’s a confident singer. The grandiose string arrangements are a bit heavy-handed and overly reverent, but few people can say they’ve heard Silent Night sung in Arapaho.

Best for people who like: Stately and reverent Christmas music sung in different languages.

Hit the skip button on: If you don’t mind the arrangements, there’s nothing that should offend.

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