Together at last: Miller siblings gather for Christmas

All 11 of the Miller children were separated after their mother died during childbirth. The last day they all spent together was Christmas of 1963 until this December, when the Miller children gathered for the first time in 43 years.

The children, Virginia, Jeanne, Christine, Stephen, James, Jane, Ricky, Debra, Carol, Pam and Bernie have seen each other over the years during family picnics and Christmases, but someone was always missing. This Christmas, marked the first time that all 11 were in the same room at the same time.

“It was tough,” said Virginia Miller, the oldest Miller child. “We had a hell of a life.”

Their mother had died and their father was unable to care for the children because of his alcoholism, Virginia said.

Virginia married in April 1964 to escape going into a foster home. She thought if she was married she would be able to keep some of her brothers and sisters with her, but the county Department of Social Services thought Virginia was too young.

The first to be taken out of the house the day after Christmas was Pam, who was adopted by a family in Herkimer. The baby, Bernie, was also adopted and his new parents changed his name to Michael.

Stephen, Jim, Debby, and Rick were sent to foster homes in the Middleville area, Virginia explained. Crystal and Carol went to a foster home in Columbia Center. Jeanne and Jane were sent to foster homes near Newport.

Eventually Carol and Rick were adopted by the children’s, mother’s cousin and lived in Oneida until they moved to Pittsburgh, Pa. Rick entered the Air Force, and stayed there for 10 years. Both Mike and Stephen entered the military. Mike entered the Navy, while Stephen enlisted in the Army.

Rick, Stephen and Mike and a cousin of theirs met, while they were all in service in Italy. It was a coincidence, Virginia explained.

Rick married young, Virginia said, and had a son from that union. He married again, this time an English woman. Their union produce three children, a son, who was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, and two daughters. Rick lived in England for 20 years, before moving back to the Mohawk Valley. He currently lives in Rome.

“Carol finished high school in Pittsburgh,” Virginia said. “and somehow ended up in Las Vegas, where she’s lived for almost 25 years.”

Carol has two daughters.

Mike’s adoptive parents eventually divorced and his adoptive mother had died at the age of 36. Before her death, she remarried, and Mike lived with him. Mike also moved to Rome after being discharged from the military. He has two daughters as well.

Debby left her foster home at 16 and lived on her own.

“She has always been a hard worker,” Virginia explained. Debby now has two daughters and five grandchildren. She lives near Johnstown, N.Y.

Since high school, Jeanne has lived on her own. She graduated from Herkimer Junior-Senior High School, and continues to live in Herkimer. She has one son and one daughter.

Christine moved to another foster home, and even stayed with Virginia during her senior year in Mohawk.

“She is a toughy, but is battling cancer right now,” Virginia said in an e-mail. “She went through treatment last year and is now going through it again.”

Before enlisting in the Army, Stephen had lived a few different foster homes. Stephen, a Desert Storm, Gulf War veteran, was a medic in the Army. He lives currently in Ilion and has one daughter and a stepdaughter as well.

Jim lived in one foster home. He graduated from West Canada Junior Senior High School. He married in 1973 and had two sons, one who died in a snowmobile accident two years ago. His other son, enlisted into the Air Force and currently lives in Wyoming. Jim built his house in the same area he grew up in, which is near Middleville, Virginia explained.

Jane lived in many foster homes, until her brother Jim. Her last foster home was in Little Falls.

“She has always been self-supporting and is self-employed,” Virginia said.

Jane currently lives in Ilion with her husband of 12 years.

“Over the years, most of us would get together and have a picnic in the summer and then get together at Christmas,” Virginia explained, “but there was always someone missing and we’ve never been able to be all together in the same room since that Christmas in 1963.”

Pam never met Rick or Carol since 1963. Pam was missing from the family picnics and Christmases over the years. Virginia explained that Pam’s adoptive parents were cautious about letting her spend time with her brothers and sisters. Pam and Rick met at an impromptu gathering at Denny’s Restaurant in September. Pam and Carol met on Christmas. Pam hadn’t seen her sister since she was 2.

“Our family has been through all their ups and downs like any family has, but this was what we all wanted to see, just once in our lives, to have us all in the same room,” Virginia said. “It happened and we are so thankful that God let us have that moment.”